+(2).jpg)
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Monday, May 11, 2009
gots no moneys? gots to have booze?
i saw this on flavorwire a while ago, i think it is time to post it. Bartenders Reveal How to Drink When You’re Broke as a Joke.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Recession Affects the Washington Post
I had an article in the Washington Post a few weeks back on "absurdly optimistic" stories that the recession has inspired. I'm sure we'll be seeing far more of these in the coming weeks, especially if the recession somehow cures Swine Flu...that'll be the shit.
The article was since reprinted in the Dallas Morning News, the Orlando Sentinel, and other papers in Delaware, Tampa Bay, and Canton, but most all of these spelt my last name "Kravner" which is silly to the max!
The article was since reprinted in the Dallas Morning News, the Orlando Sentinel, and other papers in Delaware, Tampa Bay, and Canton, but most all of these spelt my last name "Kravner" which is silly to the max!
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
The “What Kind of Recession Survivor Am I?” Quiz
I found this on the Best Recession Ever! It made me chuckle.
BEST RECESSION EVER! HQ — BRE contributors and spiritual sisters Bunny and Hunny Rockenstein made up a funny quiz. You should totally take it and then tell all your friends to take it, too. Do what we say and no one gets hurt, okay?
1. You’re really, really (REALLY) hungry — would you eat:
a. Steak tartare
b. Cooked Central Park squirrels (or raw, if you are into that whole slow food movement)
c. A baby
d. Hey, I had all that stuff for lunch! Weird!
2. You’re really, really broke — do you:
a. Sell off a small island — just one of the little ones
b. Sell an organ
c. Sell a baby
d. Use socks as currency, per usual
3. Uh oh, you didn’t pay rent and you’ve been evicted, do you:
a. How dare you! Do you know who I am?
b. Forgive that whole herpes / infidelity / gambling addiction thing and try to get back together with your still-happily-renting ex
c. Don a rubber suit and goggles, climb into that manhole and join the mole people
d. Just give up
4. How important is hygiene to you?
a. My on-retainer dermatologist removed those cumbersome sweat glands, so a sponge bath and spa treatment a day should be acceptable
b. I wash myself with a rag on a stick
c. What? I can’t hear you through the wax built up in my ear canals
d. Please refer to my manifesto, tentatively titled: “The Rats Bite!: The World as my Toilet Paper”
5. You’ve had to resort to begging in the subway — what’s your act?
a. Dangling gold doubloons in front of other subway beggars, then snatching them away
b. Nudity, mostly
c. Nudity plus various lunch meats … I haven’t quite worked out the details
d. Fromage means Alabama in semaphore. Now let’s dance!!!
6. Brrrrr, it’s STILL friggin’ winter and you can’t pay the heating bill — how do you stay warm?
a. Burn money — just the dirty stuff you use to snort coke off hookers
b. Imagine Manhattan is the Ocean and your old Armanis are wetsuits and pee, pee like you’ve never peed before
c. Cover yourself in Deep Heat and get up against the radiator
d. Don’t call me Bill
7. Jeez, this recession’s depressing — what do you do for fun?
a. Snort coke off hookers
b. Huff copier toner cartridges you stole the day you got laid off
c. Peanut butter + dog — it’s not just an urban legend
d. I’m in your crawlspace right now! Wheeee!
8. As the saying goes, there’s no such thing as a free hump — how will you ever get laid without the aid of expensive cocktails?
a. Coke, hookers, yadda yadda
b. Paris Hilton
c. Vulcan death grip
d. Much like the mangrove killifish, I am able to satisfactorily mate with myself
9. Finally, if you were a Facebook quiz, which Facebook quiz would you be? (Note: all are ACTUAL Facebook quizzes)
a. The ‘What Sex and the City Character Are You?’ quiz
b. The ‘Which Tasmanian Horse Trainer Am I?’ quiz
c. The ‘Are you Retarded?’ quiz
d. The ‘Are You a Stapler, Toothpick, or Spoon?’ quiz
KEY:
If most of your answers were A:
You are some bizarre combination of Leona Helmsley and Gordon Gekko. Either way, you should be dead or in jail. But man, you sure had some good times.
If most of your answers were B:
Congratulations! You have what it takes to survive this recession! Now get busy stockpiling squirrels.
If most of your answers were C:
You are willing to go to great lengths to survive. Too great. Even in the best of times you are seriously creepy, dude.
If most of your answers were D:
You are one crazy motherfucker who should probably be checked for rabies, at a minimum.
BEST RECESSION EVER! HQ — BRE contributors and spiritual sisters Bunny and Hunny Rockenstein made up a funny quiz. You should totally take it and then tell all your friends to take it, too. Do what we say and no one gets hurt, okay?
1. You’re really, really (REALLY) hungry — would you eat:
a. Steak tartare
b. Cooked Central Park squirrels (or raw, if you are into that whole slow food movement)
c. A baby
d. Hey, I had all that stuff for lunch! Weird!
2. You’re really, really broke — do you:
a. Sell off a small island — just one of the little ones
b. Sell an organ
c. Sell a baby
d. Use socks as currency, per usual
3. Uh oh, you didn’t pay rent and you’ve been evicted, do you:
a. How dare you! Do you know who I am?
b. Forgive that whole herpes / infidelity / gambling addiction thing and try to get back together with your still-happily-renting ex
c. Don a rubber suit and goggles, climb into that manhole and join the mole people
d. Just give up
4. How important is hygiene to you?
a. My on-retainer dermatologist removed those cumbersome sweat glands, so a sponge bath and spa treatment a day should be acceptable
b. I wash myself with a rag on a stick
c. What? I can’t hear you through the wax built up in my ear canals
d. Please refer to my manifesto, tentatively titled: “The Rats Bite!: The World as my Toilet Paper”
5. You’ve had to resort to begging in the subway — what’s your act?
a. Dangling gold doubloons in front of other subway beggars, then snatching them away
b. Nudity, mostly
c. Nudity plus various lunch meats … I haven’t quite worked out the details
d. Fromage means Alabama in semaphore. Now let’s dance!!!
6. Brrrrr, it’s STILL friggin’ winter and you can’t pay the heating bill — how do you stay warm?
a. Burn money — just the dirty stuff you use to snort coke off hookers
b. Imagine Manhattan is the Ocean and your old Armanis are wetsuits and pee, pee like you’ve never peed before
c. Cover yourself in Deep Heat and get up against the radiator
d. Don’t call me Bill
7. Jeez, this recession’s depressing — what do you do for fun?
a. Snort coke off hookers
b. Huff copier toner cartridges you stole the day you got laid off
c. Peanut butter + dog — it’s not just an urban legend
d. I’m in your crawlspace right now! Wheeee!
8. As the saying goes, there’s no such thing as a free hump — how will you ever get laid without the aid of expensive cocktails?
a. Coke, hookers, yadda yadda
b. Paris Hilton
c. Vulcan death grip
d. Much like the mangrove killifish, I am able to satisfactorily mate with myself
9. Finally, if you were a Facebook quiz, which Facebook quiz would you be? (Note: all are ACTUAL Facebook quizzes)
a. The ‘What Sex and the City Character Are You?’ quiz
b. The ‘Which Tasmanian Horse Trainer Am I?’ quiz
c. The ‘Are you Retarded?’ quiz
d. The ‘Are You a Stapler, Toothpick, or Spoon?’ quiz
KEY:
If most of your answers were A:
You are some bizarre combination of Leona Helmsley and Gordon Gekko. Either way, you should be dead or in jail. But man, you sure had some good times.
If most of your answers were B:
Congratulations! You have what it takes to survive this recession! Now get busy stockpiling squirrels.
If most of your answers were C:
You are willing to go to great lengths to survive. Too great. Even in the best of times you are seriously creepy, dude.
If most of your answers were D:
You are one crazy motherfucker who should probably be checked for rabies, at a minimum.
When times are hard I don't want to think about the dollar bills that are not in my pocket I just want to bounce. I just want to bounce on soft furry things. And I just want to bounce for free. Thanks to Club Animals: Free Bouncy Rides, my dreams can become reality.
Monday, April 27, 2009
If this was an anonymous post I would say "Damien Hirst is an Asshole" alas it is not so I will let you decide for yourselves. From the man who brought the world the diamond-encrusted skull, he says that the recession will be good for artists... “The reason why you make art is not financial… It’s not about how much something is worth or how much it costs, it’s about whether it’s good or not.” but here is free painting from the dickwad (that is what i would call him if you didn't know I was writing this post in anonymity)
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Drown your recession-woes -- for free! The website myopenbar.com lists all the venues in New York City where you can get sloshed for little or no money. Be prepared to endure varying amounts of promotion and advertising in exchange for your free Coors and Svedka.
Monday, April 6, 2009
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Is it Because We Had No Airport?
The numbers in this Times article about college admissions during the recession are interesting - you'd think the applications would be down all across the board, but it seems only "elite private liberal arts schools" are being directly affected.
Why did I use this picture? Nobody knows. But it's there.
Why did I use this picture? Nobody knows. But it's there.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Free "Free-gan" Dinner at Rubulad
On the unassuming corner of Classon and Flushing Avenue near the abandoned Navy Yard and the Hasidic neighborhood of South Williamsburg, Brooklyn (“Your bike will definitely be stolen if you’ve only got a coil-lock,” I was told), there is a warehouse known as Rubulad, which has served dutifully as the setting for all manner of legendary underground parties since the early nineties, when a bunch of musicians took out a lease together. Every other Sunday, the thoroughly decorated Rubulad warehouse space is the site of an enormous donation-only dinner, open to “anyone who’s hungry.”
The Grub Dinners, as they’re called, occur bi-monthly, and are hosted by two separate groups. Tonight’s dinner was organized by a group called “In Our Hearts,” which believes that “food is a right” (as stipulated by the United Nations’ 1948 Universal Declaration of Human Rights).
I arrived early and was pleased to see that all the food was being prepared the hard way – i.e. from totally raw ingredients. That night, the Grub Dinner included: spinach salad with grated parmesan and a choice of three dressings, a separate cherry tomato salad with oil and vinegar, boiled Swiss chard, refried beans, mashed potatoes, sweet potato fries, vegan muffins, collard greens, and a huge pot of spiced vegetable tofu curry made with coconut milk. There were bottles of Trader Joe’s protein shakes to drink, along with a selection of those delicious, exorbitantly-priced pomegranate teas called simply, “Pom.” There was plenty of malt liquor, too, although it wasn’t being officially served. There was apple crisp for dessert.
To my great relief, there was no sermon before the meal – no hand-holding, no prayers, no political moralizing – just a man in glasses and an old-fashioned hat, who shouted, “Welcome to Grub! It’s a community thing – so please make an effort to talk to someone you don’t know. Oh – and stay to play Village afterwards!” (I heard girl next to me whisper, “It’s like Mafia, but with werewolves.”)
With the exception of the apple crisp (I think someone mistook salt for sugar), the food was delicious – definitely health food, but with enough Earth Balance© to make it thick and filling. But the real kicker – nearly all the food was “rescued,” which means it was salvaged from the dumpsters of supermarkets and restaurants.
Yeah. I know. I asked one of the guys in charge, Rob, if it was sanitary, and he replied, “We use our heads. If it’s not good, don’t cook it. If you wouldn’t eat it, don’t serve it. It’s the same food you get in the grocery store anyway.” This is known as “dumpster diving,” or “freeganing” (like a vegan who gets his food for free).
“Is there a set of rules you guys use,” I asked, “like it has to be vacuum-sealed or something?” Rob laughed. “It’s not always in bags.” He said. “But neither is a lot of the stuff in the supermarket.”
The Grub Dinners, as they’re called, occur bi-monthly, and are hosted by two separate groups. Tonight’s dinner was organized by a group called “In Our Hearts,” which believes that “food is a right” (as stipulated by the United Nations’ 1948 Universal Declaration of Human Rights).
I arrived early and was pleased to see that all the food was being prepared the hard way – i.e. from totally raw ingredients. That night, the Grub Dinner included: spinach salad with grated parmesan and a choice of three dressings, a separate cherry tomato salad with oil and vinegar, boiled Swiss chard, refried beans, mashed potatoes, sweet potato fries, vegan muffins, collard greens, and a huge pot of spiced vegetable tofu curry made with coconut milk. There were bottles of Trader Joe’s protein shakes to drink, along with a selection of those delicious, exorbitantly-priced pomegranate teas called simply, “Pom.” There was plenty of malt liquor, too, although it wasn’t being officially served. There was apple crisp for dessert.
To my great relief, there was no sermon before the meal – no hand-holding, no prayers, no political moralizing – just a man in glasses and an old-fashioned hat, who shouted, “Welcome to Grub! It’s a community thing – so please make an effort to talk to someone you don’t know. Oh – and stay to play Village afterwards!” (I heard girl next to me whisper, “It’s like Mafia, but with werewolves.”)
With the exception of the apple crisp (I think someone mistook salt for sugar), the food was delicious – definitely health food, but with enough Earth Balance© to make it thick and filling. But the real kicker – nearly all the food was “rescued,” which means it was salvaged from the dumpsters of supermarkets and restaurants.
Yeah. I know. I asked one of the guys in charge, Rob, if it was sanitary, and he replied, “We use our heads. If it’s not good, don’t cook it. If you wouldn’t eat it, don’t serve it. It’s the same food you get in the grocery store anyway.” This is known as “dumpster diving,” or “freeganing” (like a vegan who gets his food for free).
“Is there a set of rules you guys use,” I asked, “like it has to be vacuum-sealed or something?” Rob laughed. “It’s not always in bags.” He said. “But neither is a lot of the stuff in the supermarket.”
Sunday, February 15, 2009
The Boom is Over. Long Live the Art!
Great NY Times article on a Recession's effect on art in New York over the years and in general. I especially liked the points about graduate programs reshaping their curriculums for the times...
"...Why not make studio training an interdisciplinary experience, crossing over into sociology, anthropology, psychology, philosophy, poetry and theology? Why not build into your graduate program a work-study semester that takes students out of the art world entirely and places them in hospitals, schools and prisons, sometimes in-extremis environments, i.e. real life? My guess is that if you did, American art would look very different than it does today."
"...Why not make studio training an interdisciplinary experience, crossing over into sociology, anthropology, psychology, philosophy, poetry and theology? Why not build into your graduate program a work-study semester that takes students out of the art world entirely and places them in hospitals, schools and prisons, sometimes in-extremis environments, i.e. real life? My guess is that if you did, American art would look very different than it does today."
-Holland Cotter
Thursday, February 12, 2009
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