street art gets recessional.

oh its about to get economic up in here.

gots no moneys? gots to have booze?

i saw this on flavorwire a while ago, i think it is time to post it. Bartenders Reveal How to Drink When You’re Broke as a Joke.

Recession Affects the Washington Post

I had an article in the Washington Post a few weeks back on "absurdly optimistic" stories that the recession has inspired. I'm sure we'll be seeing far more of these in the coming weeks, especially if the recession somehow cures Swine Flu...that'll be the shit.

The article was since reprinted in the Dallas Morning News, the Orlando Sentinel, and other papers in Delaware, Tampa Bay, and Canton, but most all of these spelt my last name "Kravner" which is silly to the max!

The “What Kind of Recession Survivor Am I?” Quiz

I found this on the Best Recession Ever! It made me chuckle.

BEST RECESSION EVER! HQ — BRE contributors and spiritual sisters Bunny and Hunny Rockenstein made up a funny quiz. You should totally take it and then tell all your friends to take it, too. Do what we say and no one gets hurt, okay?

1. You’re really, really (REALLY) hungry — would you eat:

a. Steak tartare
b. Cooked Central Park squirrels (or raw, if you are into that whole slow food movement)
c. A baby
d. Hey, I had all that stuff for lunch! Weird!

2. You’re really, really broke — do you:

a. Sell off a small island — just one of the little ones
b. Sell an organ
c. Sell a baby
d. Use socks as currency, per usual

3. Uh oh, you didn’t pay rent and you’ve been evicted, do you:

a. How dare you! Do you know who I am?
b. Forgive that whole herpes / infidelity / gambling addiction thing and try to get back together with your still-happily-renting ex
c. Don a rubber suit and goggles, climb into that manhole and join the mole people
d. Just give up

4. How important is hygiene to you?

a. My on-retainer dermatologist removed those cumbersome sweat glands, so a sponge bath and spa treatment a day should be acceptable
b. I wash myself with a rag on a stick
c. What? I can’t hear you through the wax built up in my ear canals
d. Please refer to my manifesto, tentatively titled: “The Rats Bite!: The World as my Toilet Paper”

5. You’ve had to resort to begging in the subway — what’s your act?

a. Dangling gold doubloons in front of other subway beggars, then snatching them away
b. Nudity, mostly
c. Nudity plus various lunch meats … I haven’t quite worked out the details
d. Fromage means Alabama in semaphore. Now let’s dance!!!

6. Brrrrr, it’s STILL friggin’ winter and you can’t pay the heating bill — how do you stay warm?

a. Burn money — just the dirty stuff you use to snort coke off hookers
b. Imagine Manhattan is the Ocean and your old Armanis are wetsuits and pee, pee like you’ve never peed before
c. Cover yourself in Deep Heat and get up against the radiator
d. Don’t call me Bill

7. Jeez, this recession’s depressing — what do you do for fun?

a. Snort coke off hookers
b. Huff copier toner cartridges you stole the day you got laid off
c. Peanut butter + dog — it’s not just an urban legend
d. I’m in your crawlspace right now! Wheeee!

8. As the saying goes, there’s no such thing as a free hump — how will you ever get laid without the aid of expensive cocktails?

a. Coke, hookers, yadda yadda
b. Paris Hilton
c. Vulcan death grip
d. Much like the mangrove killifish, I am able to satisfactorily mate with myself

9. Finally, if you were a Facebook quiz, which Facebook quiz would you be? (Note: all are ACTUAL Facebook quizzes)

a. The ‘What Sex and the City Character Are You?’ quiz
b. The ‘Which Tasmanian Horse Trainer Am I?’ quiz
c. The ‘Are you Retarded?’ quiz
d. The ‘Are You a Stapler, Toothpick, or Spoon?’ quiz

KEY:

If most of your answers were A:
You are some bizarre combination of Leona Helmsley and Gordon Gekko. Either way, you should be dead or in jail. But man, you sure had some good times.

If most of your answers were B:
Congratulations! You have what it takes to survive this recession! Now get busy stockpiling squirrels.

If most of your answers were C:
You are willing to go to great lengths to survive. Too great. Even in the best of times you are seriously creepy, dude.

If most of your answers were D:
You are one crazy motherfucker who should probably be checked for rabies, at a minimum.

When times are hard I don't want to think about the dollar bills that are not in my pocket I just want to bounce. I just want to bounce on soft furry things. And I just want to bounce for free. Thanks to Club Animals: Free Bouncy Rides, my dreams can become reality.

If this was an anonymous post I would say "Damien Hirst is an Asshole" alas it is not so I will let you decide for yourselves. From the man who brought the world the diamond-encrusted skull, he says that the recession will be good for artists... “The reason why you make art is not financial… It’s not about how much something is worth or how much it costs, it’s about whether it’s good or not.” but here is free painting from the dickwad (that is what i would call him if you didn't know I was writing this post in anonymity)

First and Oldest Gay Bookshop Closes: West Village, NYC